The Fear

I've been a part of this Bible study recently in which we study scripture without any chapter or verse divisions and attempt to place ourselves in the mindset of the original readers of the scripture, meaning that we can't reference anything that was written after the book we're studying. The idea is to approach scripture without all of the preconceived notions that we generally have. We also try to focus on observation rather than immediate application so that we don't miss things that we've missed in the past. Anyway, we're currently studying the book of Acts. This week we were studying a passage in which Peter and another apostle were brought before the Sanhedrin and threatened, warned not to preach in the name of Jesus any longer. After this litte encounter, the two apostles went back and met with a group of believers and began to pray. The content of their prayer stood out to me in a way I had not ever noticed before. It would seem that the normal human reaction to being threatened for preaching in the name of your savior would be to pray to that savior for protection. But this is not what the believers did. They prayed not for protection, but for boldness to continue spreading the gospel in spite of these threats, and they prayed that the Lord's hand would accompany them, performing signs and wonders. It's as if they knew that this was a cause they were willing to die for and the only thing they wished for was courage to keep going in spite of impending danger. They knew that the message they were preaching was controversial, it was an absolute threat to the religious and power stuctures of the day. They understood the prophesies that said that Jesus would be a rock that causes men to stumble. They did not expect that people of the society in which they lived would blindly accept what they were saying or respect them for it, they knew that their lives would be threatened. But I also find it interesting that, like Jesus, these apostles were really only overly confrontational with the religious leaders of the day who were misleading and sick with power. Like Jesus, they healed the sick and cared for people in practical ways while sharing the good news of Christ.

Out of this, I began thinking of how we often act in the church today. I don't think that true boldness currently exists in our church culture. Rather than understanding and expecting that the gospel that Christ preached was subversive and called for power structures to be turned upside down, we've created our own little Christian "subculture" and believe that when people challenge this subculture we are being persecuted in the name of Christ. I believe that most persecution that we receive in this country is justly deserved. Notice that the persecution Jesus promised the apostles would receive came not from normal people in society, but from the religious leaders. Rather than pray for boldness to continue living as Christ has called us, we petition the government to pass laws that make people respect our message and our morals. Rather than pray for boldness, we hover up in our safe little corners and pray for protection from that big bad world out there. Are we missing the point? Have we lost touch with the idea that the gospel Jesus preached will be controversial, but not in the way that we currently see controversy?

Once again, I return to my mantra, the love of Christ. To truly love in the face of all danger takes the ultimate courage and boldness. To pray for protection does not take love, because when we pray for protection from our human brothers and sisters, we are turning them into the enemy. Jesus also called us to love and pray for our enemies, and I confess this is not easy for me. My brother is fighting a war in Iraq right now, and for me to think of praying for the men who are trying to kill him is very difficult, but this is what I am called to. Lord, give the courage to pray for boldness rather than protection, for this is a true measure of love.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I was teaching a life skills class at the Juvenile Justice Center a few days ago, I had a group of nine youth and we were talking about respect. For kids in Juvenile Hall, respect is generally a fairly important topic. We were talking about how we react when other people disrespect us, and how this relates to our self-respect. Almost all of the youth said that if they did not react when someone disrespected them, they would be viewed as weak and would not have anyone’s respect. We got into a very interesting discussion, where I asked repeated questions that they thought about and answered. Several times they became frustrated and said “this is hard”, to which I responded, “I know it’s hard, that’s because we’re challenging our assumptions. Challenging our assumptions to see what they’re made of is a very important part of life. Otherwise, we may be living our life according to false assumptions”. As we neared the end of the class, I felt like we had a “breakthrough” moment together, I saw they’re faces light up with realization as they got it. I wanted to share part of our conversation, because I found it really intriguing and it was a revealing moment for me as well.


Me: We’ve talked about different kinds of respect. Do you feel the respect that you get by reacting to someone who disrespects you is positive or negative? Is this respect worth having?

Youth: Yeah, it’s worth having, because people respect you.

Me: Okay, but is that respect positive or negative?

Youth: Positive.

Me: Why?

Youth: Well, because it makes you feel better about yourself.

Me: Why does it make you feel better about yourself?

Youth: Because you feel better than the person who disrespected you.

Me: Ah, so you feel better about yourself because you feel better than someone else?

Youth: Yeah.

Me: Do you think it’s healthy for us to need to feel better than someone else in order to feel good about ourselves?

Youth: (long pause) No.

Me: Why not?

Youth: I don’t know.

Me: Who is responsible for your self-respect, you or someone else?

Youth: We are.

Me: Okay, so if your self-respect is dependant upon other people, are you responsible for it?

Youth: No.

Me: If your self-respect is dependant upon other people, needing to feel better than them, is that true self-respect?

Youth: No.

Me: What does true self-respect look like?

Youth: Maybe someone who doesn’t care what other people think of them.

Me: Yeah, someone who is confident enough in who they are that they don’t feel the need to react when someone disrespects them. They don’t feel the need to earn the respect of others by fighting someone who disrespects them because they have enough confidence in themselves.


I got so excited in this conversation because I could see the youth really thinking about this and I could tell it was sinking in. We went on to talk about the importance of respecting ourselves enough to want to improve ourselves, and that sometimes when we feel disrespected, there may actually be some truth to what the person is saying that we can learn from and improve ourselves. At the end of the class several of the youth said, “Man, you’re a genius dude”. When I asked what they meant, they said “We never would have thought of this stuff”. I replied, “Hey, all I did was ask questions, you guys came up with this”. I’ve been going to the Juvenile Justice Center for three weeks now, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Some of the kids there are hard, they’ve seen and been through a lot in their short lives, but they’re still kids and they have so much potential. Hopefully the conversations we have together will have an impact, I know they’ve impacted me.

The Door

So I've been having this inexplicable sense lately that someone needs to do something about the downward cycle of our current state of societal affairs. Jordana and I have been in that place of trying to figure out what the next few years of our lives will look like. Will we buy a house? Will we go overseas? Will we live here forever? Will we have children? In the midst of all these questions comes a large bundle of emotions like cynicism, fear, excitement, and anxiety. How do we keep from falling victim to the "American Dream"? How do we change that dream into something that is not empty, wasteful, and ignorant? How do we live out the kingdom of God in our materialistic society, what does this look like? I was journaling during worship at church tonight and thinking about everything that's happening around the world and our connection with it. It seems like in this country we like to view grief and violence as a distant thing in terms of "those poor people, we'll pray for them". I can't shake this sense that we are connected to everything that's happening, we have personal stakes and responsibility in it. Anyway, I was journaling and wanted to share a little excerpt from what I wrote because I found it rather intriguing, I was pretty happy with it. Anyway, here it is:

Father, wash white as snow our world that is crimson-stained beyond recognition with the blood of innocents, with the sins of our fathers, with the sins of ourselves. In the end, we are all responsible. Has it happened through complacency, through ignorance? Are we the frogs in a boiling pot of water who are none the wiser because we allowed this to happen gradually? This is no longer on the shoulders of our fathers, no one else is to blame. It is on us, it is our responsibility. We must be the ones to step up, to take action. We must be the ones to fight hate with love, complacency with action, materialism with meaning and substance, the dream of America with the dream of Christ. I feel as if I am at the doorway to a new realm, but I don't know how to open the door.