Thursday, November 22, 2012

Trying to Keep My @#%! Together

I've written multiple times in the past about how I want/need to do a better job of keeping up this blog, staying in touch with friends from the past, keeping on top of my personal task list to cut down on the clutter in my head, blah, blah, blah...

I've been realizing that I do a great job at expressing good intentions but not always a good job of actually delivering.  This winds up in disappointment in myself and too often the hurt and disappointment of those closest to me.

But enough of that heavy stuff, I meant for this to be a lighthearted and optimistic post.

For the last 6 months, I've been trying to figure out how to make writing a bigger part of my life.  Whether or not I have the technical skill and the proper background for ever being able to make a living off my writing is still up for debate but I want to do it anyway.  Simply because it's something I enjoy doing.

I've toyed with all sorts of ideas.  I ran ads on my blog for a bit but then felt like that was a bit premature since I didn't have that many readers.  I started a second blog where I thought I could attract some attention in the marketing field and perhaps turn that into something but I just never cared enough about marketing to write that much about it.  

Throughout all this, I've been struggling with whether or not it was even worth it for me to bother with trying to ever do anything further with writing.  What would I have to offer that anyone would be interested in reading?  Where do I have expertise?  What value am I offering to my readers that will keep them coming back for more?

The truth is, I don't have much except for the random thoughts of a 30 year old guy whose life has turned out very different than expected.  The truth is, I like the idea of putting my thoughts out there for people to read.  I like that the thoughts I am sharing could mirror exactly the thoughts of someone halfway around the world, or next door, and we may or may not ever cross paths.  I like the thought of my writing being in front of the eyes of people I've never even met.  That may sound egotistical and maybe it is but I'm working on being more honest here.

So what do I have to offer?  Not much, random thoughts on the universe and honesty.  I've been trying so hard to figure out what my "voice" would be if I were to ever be able to develop a career as a writer.  But I could never figure out what box I fit into because I was interested in so many things.  I didn't know how to "brand" myself because there was no one area of interest that compelled me more than others, except for maybe the church simply because that has been such a big part of my life.  So I'm done trying to make myself fit into pre-designed boxes.  I'm going to build my own box.

I'm going to try something.  I'm going to try forcing myself to write on this blog once a day for the next 30 days.  Call it my first writing project to try to pursue an idea.  I have too many thoughts floating around in my head and I need to get them out.  So I'm going to put them (at least some of them) here, for you (whoever the hell you are) to read.  Or not read.  Who knows.

What I'd really love is to start a conversation.  I've been developing this passion lately to see people talking more about things that really matter.  Not just spewing the rhetoric that we hear all around us but actually talking as human beings, about things that matter to us and how similar those often are when you get beneath all the surface noise.  So I invite you to join me in this conversation.  If you know me, challenge me and call me out when you think I'm being crazy.  If you don't know me, still challenge me and call me out.  Share thoughts, ask questions, let's dialogue.

I wonder what happens next.  


zach harrison said...

Colter, I take a peek at your blog every few weeks or so and always enjoy my time here. I'm writing this now because I can imagine how strange it may feel not knowing if and who is reading. I appreciate your voice and perspective for this blog and frequently walk away with some good food for thought. More than the content, I so appreciate getting a glimpse of your life. In some small way, I almost feel like I am living life with you. I'm saddened, frustrated and delighted right along with you. Although we are far apart, I can feel a little closer to you and Jordana. We love you deeply. Keep writing!
Love, Kelly Harrison

Colter Diehl said...

Thank you for the kind words Kelly, it's always nice to know that what I'm writing here has some kind of impact. We love and miss you and Zach also. While I'm saddened to be so far separated from people we love, I'm glad for tools like this to maintain at least some level of connection.